DAY SIXTEEN
At Bh. Dhirapanno's suggestion, I've been reading about Ajahn Boowa. Started in those two wonderful group interviews - where I was inspired to a) start doing all-night Practice vigils, b) being more Generous, esp. in monastic settings.
Jack Kornfield's Living Buddhist Masters is excellent. (Through this blog, I will largely minimize the lay & Western writers I recommend. Trying myself to focus on the Canon, and divergences from the Canon need to be excellent ones. ) But love JK's book, as it is a very detailed discussion of about a dozen Theravadan high-rolling master teachers, and nuts-and-bolts investigations into what they touch and how a persyn practices in under their tutelage. JK lets the instructions speak for themselves, and letting out the voice of each respective teacher in the discussion on their practice, but also does good work comparing these practices, and discussing the disparities.
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Was livid with I. last night. She was being particularly annoying.
Was annoyed with LS just now. Was livid with JC & C fr HR last week. Annoyed by and with GP. Even was annoyed with MP!
I'm not going to try to stop; I'm going to try to watch and listen. Just keep noting, and noting and noting.
Went to a bar. Definitely crossed over into heedlessness & broke 5th Precept, no matter how subtle. (I could have walked backwards reciting the Pali alphabet while snapping my fingers, but was still made cross by the alcohol in a way that wouldn't have happened in its absence.) No more. Still drink, but slow, slow, slow.
Need to work with my anger. Just watch the emotions in the body. The emotions' rise and fall. One of my duthangas.
Didn't smoke. Went home and had Movement Paralysis, which is when we're afraid of moving from one state to another. We think it's easier when we have a cigarette to break up the tension. It's greed - an attachment to what we're already doing. That's why I'm late all the time - even when I'm in something I don't like. An attachment to the present, which is actually an attachment to the past.
Read the NYT, read LVM. Didn't get to practice.
Fred says, "You're already in the Practice. You just now need to figure out the hard parts."
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Wish I could practice more this week. Harry Potter festivities becoming more of a burden than a joyousness, but it'll change once we're in it....
Jack Kornfield's Living Buddhist Masters is excellent. (Through this blog, I will largely minimize the lay & Western writers I recommend. Trying myself to focus on the Canon, and divergences from the Canon need to be excellent ones. ) But love JK's book, as it is a very detailed discussion of about a dozen Theravadan high-rolling master teachers, and nuts-and-bolts investigations into what they touch and how a persyn practices in under their tutelage. JK lets the instructions speak for themselves, and letting out the voice of each respective teacher in the discussion on their practice, but also does good work comparing these practices, and discussing the disparities.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Was livid with I. last night. She was being particularly annoying.
Was annoyed with LS just now. Was livid with JC & C fr HR last week. Annoyed by and with GP. Even was annoyed with MP!
I'm not going to try to stop; I'm going to try to watch and listen. Just keep noting, and noting and noting.
Went to a bar. Definitely crossed over into heedlessness & broke 5th Precept, no matter how subtle. (I could have walked backwards reciting the Pali alphabet while snapping my fingers, but was still made cross by the alcohol in a way that wouldn't have happened in its absence.) No more. Still drink, but slow, slow, slow.
Need to work with my anger. Just watch the emotions in the body. The emotions' rise and fall. One of my duthangas.
Didn't smoke. Went home and had Movement Paralysis, which is when we're afraid of moving from one state to another. We think it's easier when we have a cigarette to break up the tension. It's greed - an attachment to what we're already doing. That's why I'm late all the time - even when I'm in something I don't like. An attachment to the present, which is actually an attachment to the past.
Read the NYT, read LVM. Didn't get to practice.
Fred says, "You're already in the Practice. You just now need to figure out the hard parts."
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Working is Practice. Even updating this blog about Practice instead of doing my job is part of Practice. Avoiding my job is part of the Practice, if I am bold and honest enough to look at it for what it is.
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Wish I could practice more this week. Harry Potter festivities becoming more of a burden than a joyousness, but it'll change once we're in it....
posted by 26 at 2:25 PM
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